The Brudders vs. Fridays

Aren't Fridays supposed to be the most exciting day of the week?

Somehow my boys missed this memo and think that it should be the most stressful and eventful! First last Friday which led to a crazy weekend and then today! Whew!

Around 2:30am I woke up in a slight panic because my arms, neck, face and chest were suddenly swollen and completely red. I felt very flush and we checked my blood pressure and it was 141/66. This is incredibly high for me! We have been having trouble keeping it up high enough to be able to take meds because a side effect is that they lower blood pressure so for it to all of a sudden be so high was alarming. So, we had the doctor on call paged and he said that if it didn't go away to call back but if I could just hold out until my Dr. appointment today in their office and they would check me out.

So, I went back to bed still very uneasy about it all and attempted to rest. I woke up and felt ok, not the greatest but nothing like the few hours before. Jordan had to go to work but had done the cutest little things to make it easier on me while he was away. It was the first time he had left me all week so he was trying to make sure I was covered. He had made me a cooler of drinks and snacks to keep beside the couch so I didn't have to get up and had already put pancakes in the microwave so all I would have to do was hit cook to make breakfast. Ha! He is such a good little helper and has been a great nurse, maid, chef and encourager.

I am very thankful for him!

My breakfast J so lovingly prepared for me before he left!

My little cooler of drinks and snacks!

He called around lunchtime to check on me and said he was going to go ahead and come home so he could take me to my Dr. appt since I had had a rough night and it would be a lot of walking (which I haven't been allowed to do) he was concerned it would be too much to do alone. Very thoughtful of him! So off we went.

A new bracelet to add to my collection

By the time we got there I was feeling a little funny again and sure enough by the time the ultrasound was done and we were headed for the stress test I started having another "episode" like this morning- Hot, flush, high bp, swelling.... joy. At least we were at the doctor's office so they could see what was happening first hand. The were worried because these are signs of preeclampsia which can be very dangerous for the mother so they sent me over to the hospital to have some tests done. Yay for being a human pin cushion yet again (not)!

All the test came back ok so they decided to send me home once my BP went down again. They said this could be the beginning of preeclampsia so I have to watch for any pain around my liver, severe headache, spots and more high blood pressure. So basically I have to wait until I feel like total death until they will be able to do anything. Usually the only solution to preeclampsia is that you have to have the babies right away. Which right now I am TOTALLY ok with! ha!

The fun little monitors I have to be hooked up to each week.

The boys looks great on the tests today and the ultrasound showed that their lungs were good and strong! The steroids seemed to do their job! Wahoo! This was really comforting to us to know that if they do need to take them that they look good and strong.

How many monitors can one belly hold?

So now .... we wait. I am beginning to become incredibly drained but and trying to "keep my eyes on the prizes!" The nurse was very honest with me and told me that from here until they come will be very difficult so to try and hang in there as much as I can. I am definitely beginning to feel like I am slowly breaking down but am trying to be strong. Some days are better than others. I am just so emotionally and physically exhausted. So ready to just hold my sweet boys and feel normal again!

I think I can..... I think I can....I think I can.......

The Longest Weekend In History....

It is official. I will never, never, ever again say that I am excited about having just one Doctors appointment on a particular day! ha!


Friday I was very excited that I only had to go to one appointment for my stress test and then could just come home. Well, I totally jinxed myself apparently by saying that!


Friday morning I woke up to a contraction. Not to terrible but enough to be able to know what it was. They have been happening off and on so I didn't really think much about it. My doctors had told me to be watching for them because since the boys are almost a combined 7lbs that my body would start to think that they are "all baked" when instead the body isn't taking into account that there are 2 little people in there and not just one.


I got up still "just not feeling" right and got ready and headed over to the appt. For the stress test they hook up monitors to both babies to watch their heart beats and how that are affected by movement and they also hook up a contraction monitor. I LOVE the sweet little nurses (Liz, Carol and Jeannie) that preform these test. They have become my little friends since they are pretty much all the people I see each week besides Jordan ha! They had mentioned that I didn't seem quite like myself and asked how I was feeling etc. I explained that I "just didn't feel right" but couldn't really describe it. They said they completely understood what I meant and tried to encourage me. It was the same feeling I had the night before/morning that Kelsie was born. Well, low and behold after watching the monitor for a while it was clear that the contractions were getting stronger and closer in range. Being only 32 weeks they decided to wheel me over to the hospital, which is connected to the Doctor's office, to be observed for a while and try to get them to stop.

My new amazing bracelets! Aren't they so stylish!

Once we got into a room they gave me a shot to get the contractions to stop and it worked. So after a few hours of observation to make sure it was under control they gave me a prescription of meds to take every 6 hours and sent me home. Wahoo! Simple problem solved.


We got home and I took the meds and laid down like they had said. Within 2 hours the contractions started back up again. Oh great! Wasn't this what the meds were supposed to prevent? After a while I could tell they were getting stronger again so I called the Dr. she said to take a warm bath and try to relax as much as I could and call her back in an hour. So I did. Bath and then laid down for a while...but as soon as I got up....they were back. Soooo they told me to come back in. So off we went.

My precious Husband who spent the nights with me in the hopsital even though he got VERY little sleep and had to work two 10 hour days back to back!

That second visit to the hospital resulted in a roller coaster of a weekend that I would really love to have to never repeat!!! Lots of shots and pills, VERY little sleep, horrible side affects (including headaches which I had already been battling at this point for 12 days) and emotions that could be great one second then followed by complete uncertainty! Such an exhausting weekend all the way around!

My precious IV. Which had double to tubes because I had fluids and the Magnesium drip...took this after they had already taken the Mag. drip out.

After it showed that the shots of brethine they were giving me were no longer doing the trick to to keep the contractions stopped they started me on an IV of Magnesium Sulfate. I am 100%convinced that this drug was created by the devil himself. Within moments of it being injected you feel like the entire inside of your body is on fire. The nurse kept telling me they refer to it as "fire water" sometimes. It also causes your chest to tighten up and makes it hard to breathe. In the midst of all of this your body begins to also have the shakes which is SO much fun when you feel like you are on fire!

The devil drug. Enough said.

After a few hours the side effects got slightly, very slighty better. The good thing was that it had caused the contractions to stop!!! Success! They still would have to leave me on it though in order to make sure that it would keep them stopped.

The next morning around 6:45am Jordan left to go to work because he couldn't miss so it was just me and my magnesium drip (and of course the nurses) for a while until he could come back around 7pm when he got off. Around 7:30am I got up to go to the bathroom (very fun to do when you are hooked up to an IV poll and have 3 monitors attached to your stomach ha!) and then got right back in bed. Within minutes of that the room was literally spinning and the furniture was dancing around as if to give me my own personal performance of "Beauty and The Beast" , sadly without the singing. My chest started to get incredibly tight also I called my cute little nurse "Sue" who by this point also had a "twin" ha! She came in and said that it meant that there was too much magnesium going into my system so they turned down the dosage. Yay! However it would take at least 4 hours for the level to lower in my body once they brought it down. So it was def. an interesting few hours while it took its precious time to lower. They lowered it a little at a time throughout the day until I was finally able to be off of it completely and switched to a pill medication that didn't have SUCH hard side affects.

Can you imagine since I was seeing double of everything if it meant the boys were too?! They were probably looking around and seeing "4" little boys in there and thinking "where the heck did you come from? It is already crowded enough in here!!!"

The "Michelin Man" boots that squeeze to prevent clots! They also prevent sleeping...at all!

And yes...I did make sure my toe nails were freshly painted before I went into the hopsital...which my Husband and the nurses made fun of me for! But at least they were cute! ha!

Once the magnesium was out of my system and the pills were working I began to feel much better! Still exhausted because I couldn't sleep due to the oh so stylish "boots" they had on my calves that literally puff up like the Michelin man every 30 seconds and squeeze your legs to prevent blood clots, but at least I wasn't on fire! In the middle of the night the nurse came in to give me my pill (I have to take them every 4 hours around the clock) but she needed to check my blood pressure first. It was only 87/45. Not so great. Because a side affect of the pills is that it will lower your blood pressure she couldn't give them to me because it would just make it lower. Which would mean me flat out on the floor whenever I got up! So she held off and said she would come back an hour later. Still the same result. They could not give me the medication until my blood pressure was a minimum of 110/70. This would not happen until about 8 hours later. Which meant no anti-contraction meds in my system which meant...you guessed it... CONTRACTIONS!!!!

So out came the shots of brethine... again, by this point I felt like a human pin cushion. They were doing all they could to make it so I didn't have to go back on the Magnesium again. The shot slowed them down but didn't bring them to a complete stop but held them off long enough to get my BP up enough to have the pills again.

At this point the dr. decided I needed to go ahead and get the steroid shots to help the boys lungs develop faster in the event they decided it was best to go ahead and deliver them. So once again the poking continued. These were the most painful shots because the liquid was really thick and goes straight into your muscle, but at least I know that in the event that these little men can't hold off a few more weeks they will be in much better shape!

So then we come to Sunday! The doctor said as long as everything stayed calm I could leave after my second steroid injection at 6pm! Wahooo!!! My own house, my own bed and a SHOWER!!!! I couldn't get one in the hospital because of all the IV stuff so I was more than ready to feel clean!!! I watched the clock like a hawk all day long ha! I had some contractions on and off but they said that was ok. As long as I didn't feel any really big ones or more than 6 an hour then I was still ok to go home. 3 came, 4 came, 5 came and then 5:07 came. I had a huge contraction and almost burst into tears right then thinking I was literally 53 minutes from being able to go home and this was going to start all over again! Thankfully it was only that one!

So I got my last injection and then finally ....... FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!

I have never been so happy to see this little apartment in my life! ha! I am on strict bed rest which means I have to lay down or on my side at all times and am only allowed up to use the bathroom. Not so fun but I would much rather be doing that here than in the hospital so I will gladly do what I am told! I am on meds around the clock which is slightly annoying since there are on a 9,5,1 schedule but it is ok. I feel like every time I finally get good and asleep I have to wake back up to swallow a pill. Oh well, just preparing me for my long nights with my little men!
So, hopefully as long as these little men cooperate and contractions stay low I will not have to go back to the hospital until it is time to bring these little men into the world! Fingers crossed!!!

So excited about these little hats and that the next time I take them to the hospital there will be little heads to put them on!

I wanted to say THANK YOU all for the calls, texts, messages and prayers! It was incredibly difficult not having any family or close friends around being 562.3 miles away but it was such an encouragement to me to read the messages and feel the love and support even from so far away! It truly lifted my spirits and helped me more than you know!

I Miss My Ankles....

Oh normal body....how I miss thee! Let me count the ways! ha!

* Swollen hands

* swollen feet

* achey back, joints, neck, hips, arms, legs, basically entire body!

* blurry eyes

* pounding head

* "the waddle"

* never ending stretching stomach

* bursting (literally) stretch marks

* ability to sleep without waking up every hour

...... Just to name a few!

Don't get me wrong pregnancy is an amazingly wonderful experience but the toll it takes on your body is SO NOT "amazingly wonderful!" ha! The past few nights I have literally laid in bed and contemplated if it is really worth attempting to roll over to try and get more comfortable because of the effort it takes! ha! What if I use all that energy to flip over and realize that I was more comfortable the other way?! Decisions...Decisions!

Besides the bursting stretch marks (yes- they are literally bursting and bleeding....SO painful! I had the same thing happen when I was pregnant with Kelsie and there isn't much that can be done about it...I wish Wal-mart sold stretchier skin!) the worst thing has to be this new "blurred vision" thing! I have always had great vision so all of a sudden having to make the computer screen be on 200% so that I can read things is WHOA annoying! I feel like I am suddenly 88 years old! ha! I asked the Dr. about it this week and he said that my retinas are retaining fluid which is messing with my vision. How fun is that!

So I got to thinking...wouldn't it be nice if I could just stick a straw in my temple and let some of the fluid out? I am sure it would make my vision so much better and help to relieve some pressure from this headache I have had. For some reason Jordan didn't think this would be a good idea. No idea why....

I am so ready to feel normal again! I have been dreaming about it these days! Good news is I get a little bit closer to it every day! Granted once they come we will have to deal with the whole recovery from c-section and sleep deprivation with two babies deal....but let's just not think about that right now!

Let's just focus on positive things.... like the fact that my belly button still hasn't popped out -this is my biggest pregnancy fear! Totally freaks me out! I have told Jordan if it does pop out I am taping it back in.....and I am so serious! ha!

AND I can still reach to paint my own toenails - which right now are a very lovely copper color in honor of fall! If you have to waddle and carry around a bowling ball in your stomach...you might as well have cute toes!

I love percentages! Well....sometimes!

Do you see this sweet face?! Ah! It melts my heart already!!!!

It's only Tuesday and I have already had 5 Dr. appointments! Whew! Luckily there is only one more this week and it isn't until Friday!

Yesterday was the Fetal Heart Echo for Kohen. I was very anxious about it but we were trusting the Lord and had a peace going into the appointment. Of course there are all the "what ifs" going through your mind constantly so I had to to keep bouncing those thoughts! Jordan got out of class early unexpectedly so it was very nice that he was able to go with me and I didn't have to go alone.

It basically was like an ultrasound but it was focused on the heart. The ultrasound tech went through and took "still" pictures of all the different parts and from different angles and then the Dr. came in and did a video version. They watch the blood flow and how the chambers open and close when it is beating. The said of course they can't say 100% that nothing is wrong with his heart but they saw no major issues and everything was in the correct spot and working well! They are 85% sure that his heart is perfectly fine! Wahoo! They said if anything is a problem it would just be something small that the pediatrician will pick up on after he is born. We are praising the Lord for this news!!!! And of course they could see that it said "I LOVE MOMMY!" all over it! ha!

Today I had a regular Dr. appt then the ultrasound growth scans and a stress test! Whew! That makes me tired all over again just to type it all! ha! After my first appointment they said to come home and have all my stuff packed as if I was going to the hospital because that would be decided after the growth scan. NOT fun! We already knew today was decision day but actually having to pack stuff and be ready did not help with the stress level! ha! But...we did it! 2 Cute Polka dot bags (Thanks to my Mama and Best Friend!), my new favorite blankie and pillow! ha!

The last growth scanned showed that there was a 23% difference between the boys weight. They want it to always stay less than 20%. This is why they decided I needed the be on bed rest two weeks ago so that the boys could have more opportunities (Esp. Kohen with having less vessels to his cord) to grow and the nutrients would get to them better. Today when they did the scan it showed that there was only a 16% percent difference between their weights!!! Which means......I get to stay at home in my comfy chair and own bed for at least another 2 weeks!!! Kohen weighed 3 lbs 3 oz and Kennan weighed 3lbs 13oz. We were so so so thrilled! I did a happy dance in the Doctors office! Literally! ha!

They will redo the scan again in two weeks. As long as it remains under 20% I can still stay home...otherwise I have to set up shop in the hospital. Jordan wants to take Guitar Hero and set it up there if I have to go.....for some reason I don't feel like other patients would like me very much if he did that! ha!

I am so thankful to be able to write this from my comfy chair! The Lord is hearing all of our (friends and family included!) prayers and is so faithful! We are so grateful for all he has done so far! We know that these little men are in His hands!

I will continue to be on bed rest until the boys are born....which let's just be honest is not fun...however, to see that it is actually working and these little boys are getting stronger makes it all worth it! And besides how will these people on TV solve crimes, pick out wedding dresses, and bring home babies without me?! They need me!

Thank you so much to each of you for all of you love, support, and encouragement! It has meant SO much to us and has truly lifted our spirits! Esp. mine!!! I am very thankful for each of you!

Am I gonna make it?

Am I gonna make it?

To be honest, some days I don't feel like I will. This question that has really been on my mind lately....especially last night and today.

But the answer is.... yes!

This situation we are in right now is definitely not ideal but I keep trying to remind myself it is only temporary. There are so many emotions going on and being so far away (562.3 miles to be exact) from things that are familiar and family and friends has been so incredibly difficult.

Last night was especially hard for me. I think everything that has been building up inside the past few weeks just decided it needed to come out. After going to the hospital with a few concerns and getting checked to make sure everything was ok J and I came home and I just kinda "fell apart" for lack of better words. I am SO ready to feel good, SO ready to not be pregnant, SO ready to just have these babies and Kelsie back and just start a normal life back. No bed rest. No doctors appointment. No feeling bad. No child in another state!

Having Kelsie so far away has been so hard..... I miss her terribly! I think having her gone and missing those little snuggle times and sweet hugs has been harder than anything. I wish so badly I could take care of her right now.... but..... I just can't. I know she is having a great time with all of "her people" and loving being with them. I am just very ready to have her back with me!

I keep trying to remind myself that this is only temporary and that these little boys need this from me. I am their Mommy...it is my job to take care of them before they are born and after. The more rest I get now the better off they will be when they decide to come and meet us. So, that is what I will do. Rest. Eat. and put my trust in the Lord that He will sustain me.

Some days are just so lonely. For the past few years I have been so used to having close friends around pretty much on a daily basis. Even if it was only just to come and sit on our couch and be lazy there was always someone around to talk to or play a game with. Life is very different these days. We really haven't established close friendships with anyone and the days are pretty quiet. Jordan is gone everyday from about 7am-6pm so it is usually just me and the tv. Oh, and the neighbors next door with a dog who never stops barking! ha! I have been thankful for things like face book and email that make is easier to feel like I have some "company" throughout the day.

I know that the Lord has a plan and that we are going through this "season" in our lives for a reason. It is making us more dependent on Him and less on ourselves. We are learning so much about trusting Him to sustain us and take care of us. He knows our hearts. He knows our troubles and he will be faithful to help us.

The days are not easy but I keep reminding myself that though I may feel alone I never truly am. The Lord is always there and He cares about me and the struggles I feel.

He is faithful.

He is here.

"For I am the Lord your God, who holds your right hand, who says to you,

Do not fear, I will help you."

Isaiah 41:13

"Making it".....one day at a time....

One Week Down..... ? to go!

One week down... ? to go!!!

Well, I have survived week one of bed rest! At times it has been difficult and I have been extremely bored but the rest has also been nice!

This past week I have "solved" many crimes, "attended" many weddings,"celebrated" the births of many babies, as well as "campaigned" for the election! ha! All from my comfy recliner!

I went to the Doctor yesterday and both of the boys did very well on the stress test! I was so glad. Kohen did so much better and you could tell he is getting stronger. The bed rest seems to be working and I am so thankful! I do not want to be admitted to the hospital until these little boys are ready to be in my arms! The Doctor said that I looked good too and to keep up the rest!

This week I will have another stress test, flow study and ultrasound to see how much they have grown. Then next week I have 6 appointments, including the Fetal Heart Echo on Kohen on Monday. Whew! Maybe I should just take my pillow and favorite blanket and just do my bed rest there next week! ha!

On Tuesday I meet with the Dr. for him to tell me whether or not I can continue resting at home or if I need to be admitted to the hospital! Please be praying that he lets me stay home!

I wanted to do somethings that would keep me busy yet be meaningful while I was on bed rest so I came up with the idea of making matching Christmas stockings for my little ones (and Jordan and I too!) that we can use forever! I can't wait for all the fun Christmas memories to come!!! Paper flying everywhere, fighting over who gets to open what first, bed head and matching Christmas pjs! ah! Can't wait!

All 3 of the stockings!

(Will post pictures of Mine and Jordan's soon)

I cut out all the shapes and then hand stitched each square/circle onto the stocking one by one!

Kelsie and I have circles and Jordan and the boys have squares!

The boys have the same colors and shapes just in different orders!

This week's bed rest agenda - work on my Guitar Hero skills, make honey-do lists of what needs to be done before the boys come (Jordan will love me for this! ha!) and work on a special project for a friend!

But first......Tylenol and a nap to get rid of this ridiculous headache!!!!